There Are Things We Say to Ourselves That DON’T Help Us At All Become Better Persons
We grew up in different cultures and ways of life, and all of us were raised to know what’s right and wrong. As rational beings, we form our set of beliefs. What we experience and observe help shape our perceptions of people, situations, and just about any idea that we have. How we look at ourselves is no exception. Our self-perception is greatly influenced by what society tells us from the time we were little.
At the back of our minds, we ‘listen’ to our inner voice that controls our decisions and behavior. However, did you know that there are ‘lies’ that we repeat over and over again in our thoughts, which prevent us from getting ahead in life? We say lies, because once we start believing in them, we are one step backward from achieving our goals and ultimately, success. Therefore, to be winners, we need to face these false beliefs and turn them around to help us become winners.
Our self-perception is greatly influenced by what society tells us from the time we were little and up to this day that we’ve reached maturity.
I can do things on my own
Though being independent and self-reliant are reflections of maturity, you cannot deal with all situations by yourself. People who are successful surround themselves with individuals who can support their dreams and aspirations. No matter how smart you are, the fact is that you do not have all the answers.
Therefore, you need the right people to be part of your world (or be part of the world of only the right people) to help you grow as a person. That doesn’t mean that you give in to their dictates or let them tell you what to do. Rather, you can broaden your perspective and see the world clearly if you allow others to help you.
I should always be successful
No one remains at the top forever. Even those who have been epitomes of success have had their share of failures. The important lesson here is never to be afraid of failing. Being unable to get what you want means that you should try harder or employ a different approach to making your next attempt.
Failure is your greatest success teacher. If you try to stay away from it by not making any move, then you’re just preparing yourself for more failures. Our great inventors had met a countless number of failed attempts before they were able to produce their creations. And they kept on trying until they got what they wanted.
I should always find things easy
Life is wonderful, but it is also full of struggles of various forms and intensities. But different people handle struggles differently. Successful ones encounter struggles but are driven to persist and push forward to test their limits. The reward is at its sweetest and worth the wait when we put our resources and efforts toward achieving our goals. Think of struggles as quizzes in school, which you need to pass to get good grades. There is no need for alarm because you have prepared for them. And if you don’t get the grade you want, just move on or try to find a way to recover.
I always have problems
In a way, it’s true that people never seem to run out of issues. But it’s the way that they look at them that spells the difference. Successful individuals don’t see a problem as a problem, but at most, a temporary setback that can be easily rectified. It’s a case of seeing a glass either half empty or half full. In a nutshell, don’t waste your energy looking at circumstances as problems that only make you anxious. Rather, redirect your energy to how to turn the issues to your favor. It’s a matter of changing your perspective.
I only need to work on my weaknesses
There is nothing wrong trying to work on your areas for improvement. However, do not spend so much time addressing your weaknesses because you are bound to come out just an average player. What you should focus on is your strengths because they are the ones that will bring you success. Know which areas you excel at and capitalize on them to attain your goals. Aim for greatness and not the ordinary.
I should never be afraid
It is okay to cry when you’re sad or frustrated and feel scared about certain situations. But what is important is accepting that you have fears, and that is the bravest thing that you could do. Yes, we were taught by society to conquer our fears, and sure, we derive a great satisfaction if we’re able to do this. Nevertheless, we will always have a fear of various things in life. We should not live in fear but instead, acknowledge the fact that they are present and that we should always try to do whatever it takes not to let them get the better of us.
“If you want to conquer fear, don’t sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.” – Dale Carnegie
I only have to focus on what’s in the end
Of course, we all have goals in life. And while there’s nothing wrong with being goal-oriented, you should never take for granted the means of achieving them. Enjoy the journey because it where you get all of life’s lessons. You are not a robot that is wired to do one thing, but a human being who has been fashioned to experience life to the fullest. Look forward to what’s coming, but savor what’s in the present.
“Satisfaction lies in the effort, not in the attainment. Full effort is full victory.” – Mahatma Gandhi
Do your own soul-searching and communicate with yourself if you have these false beliefs in your system. Chances are, you do. However, it’s never too late to reprogram your outlook and adopt a way of thinking that is only TRUE.