No relationship is perfect. Just like humans, every relationship has its imperfections. In one way or another, people in relationships are bound to have arguments. The trials and challenges that they face serve to strengthen relationships, make partners better, and solidify the love and commitment they have for each other. Supposedly, a couple must overcome any challenge that will comes their way.  

However, in reality, relationships that fail are more than those that survive the worst. We see people getting second families and filing divorces and annulments. It seems that the happy that people wish for after watching romance movies are just lucid dreams.

What could be the reason behind failed relationships? Here are the mistakes that ruin relationships.

“You can never control who you fall in love with, even when you’re in the most sad, confused time of your life. You don’t fall in love with people because they’re fun. It just happens.”— Kirsten Dunst

Mistake #1: You are in a Relationship because you need it, not because you want it.

I love you, because I need you.

                  vs.

I need you, because I love you.

need

The difference between the two statements is not obvious. In this section, we’ll explain why committing just because you need something is toxic in your relationship. Let’s take it this way. Maybe you feel pressured to be in a relationship because all of your friends seem to have significant others and you don’t want to feel being left out. So you go on countless blind dates. You rush to commit to someone without knowing what you’re getting into. 

That means that you in a relationship not because of pure love, but because you have another intention. Even before starting a relationship, you are already expecting something from your partner. Either it’s because you don’t want to be alone, or you are financially insecure, so you expect your partner to provide all your needs. What do you think will happen if your partner fails to meet your expectations? You’ll be disappointed, and you’ll be inclined to end your relationship without considering your partner’s feelings.

But if you are in a relationship with someone because you love them, then you’ will accept them for who they are. No matter what happens in your relationship, you will fight for it because you love your partner and want to be with them and spend the rest of your life together. 

Mistake #2: Rebounding

rebound

Another mistake that many people commit when entering into a new relationship is rebounding. This happens when you choose to be in a relationship without getting over your previous one. Most people find rebounds to show their former lovers that they are over them. They do so to show that the break-up had an insignificant. Another reason is to make an ex-lover to regret breaking up with you. Being in a rebound relationship is taking advantage of another person’s else’s feelings. 

This feels so wrong on many levels because, for one, you should not play with other people’s feelings. Yes, you’re hurt, but it doesn’t give you any license to hurt someone else while wasting their time. Another thing is that this will not help you move on. It just shows how much you’re still hooked to your ex. It’s actually the same as having withdrawal symptoms. You are looking for someone to fill the gap of your lost partner, but that gap will never be filled because you have not healed yet.

Instead of having a rebound relationship, take some time to heal first. Find and spend time with yourself. When the scars of the past have healed, and you are whole again, you can then enter in a brand new relationship. Remember that your future partner deserves to have your heart as a whole, so give it to him or her when you fall in love once again.

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