You had a good run. And it’s good that you have moved on from him. The challenge is when you step on the friendship range. You were used to being romantically involved with each other until an inevitable situation took place and you froze for a quarter of a second and felt lost. You are not longer together.
How do you handle the situation from kissing him goodbye to waving him casually? What do you do when you are so used to touching him and catch yourself in awkward pause just before your skin touches his? ‘Why keep him in the past’? Because you lost him for a reason, and that reason did not vanish just because of his proximity or your familiarity. You have decided to move past the bitterness, and past the romance.
Maybe he’s not that horrible and you want to keep him at the periphery. So, how do you keep him in the friendship zone and ensure that he stays as an EX?
“There is only one happiness in this life, to love and be loved.”— George Sand
Change of Heart
Establishing a level of friendship after a relationship could be hard, especially, if you are not ready to move on and still feel something for him. So, you broke up. Then, break away from the tie that bound you from him, keep distance and be your own piece. Be whole again and brave enough to accept that the next time you are face-to-face with him, you are mended and finding it good to feel your change of heart.
Set The Rules
Establish the boundaries of friendship. Make sure that both of you understands the definition of your continued relationship. When one starts to hold the other in a romantic way, resist. If you do not change and stay on that spot, eventually, he will penetrate the walls and you will be stuck in limbo. Stick to the rules.
Keeping him in the past meant not making him the center of your world. Wake up and think about something else instead of what he is doing at the very moment. It’s not bad if you think about his wellness, but cherish the moments you have and have fun with or without him.
It’s totally fine if both of you joke about the past and what you have been through. However, focus on talking about random things that do not involve romance. Talk like any other normal friends do. For example, give bits of advice on career and other interesting things.
If you made the mistake of letting him be your priority, the chance to change is knocking at your very doorstep. Always remember that the priority is always yourself. This does not mean that you will be selfish. It simply means that you go for decisions that would take you to the next level and not make him the basis of it.
Remember The Boy
He must be a hell of a lesson. And he must be a good man for you to keep him in your world. You could remember the boy but stop remembering the feelings. Remembering it could cost you two steps back to the past. Look at him as a fresh existence that chose to stay even after it all ended not the way you thought it would.
You were so used to him taking care of you when in trouble. Stop it unless there is a threat of life or immediate danger. The point here is to detach yourself from your familiarity with him. You may even be stronger than you realize. Try to save yourself.
You may have associated a song or two in the past with him. Stopping it won’t be necessary. Move past what it used to mean. You can even make it a joke with him. He exists in your life as a different character.
Just because you’re good to go does not mean that he is. You were not the only character in the relationship that didn’t work. For this friendship to work, make sure that he has moved on from you as well. Otherwise, you would be giving him false hope about a romantic comeback that will never happen.